ooohh,its' rainbow fish!! ;x

Filled to the brim with negativity (maybe not so negative afterall)

Its been a while since I last felt such strong negative energy in me. I seriously don't understand myself at all. Sometimes I question myself whether I've been putting up a false front all the time too but I know that there are times when I am truly happy. Now I feel so empty without all the wushu and rugby trainings, all that is left is just CSM and I seriously hope I don't screw up.

The season has gone.. just like that. Looking back, I think I could have done more and there are numerous possibilities if I had chose to do certain things differently.. like quitting wushu (which is highly unlikely), not going overseas etc. I am quite sure I'd have done better. Although I managed to inject fear in my opponents and taught them a hard lesson but then again I could have contributed much more if I didn't take up two CCAs. I am proud as a wushuer cause we are Champs and we seriously fought very hard this year.. 1 point difference >.< As the first guy to compete for my school, I am glad I didn't disappoint my coach and teammates and created a good start but whenever I think of how I could have competed in at least 2 more categories (maybe extending our lead by winning more medals) I start to blame myself for taking up two CCAs. For the wushu team, its pride gained from getting our long lost champs trophy but for me its just mere disappointment in myself.

Many people may envy me for handling two CCAs so well but if you look at it closely.. I didn't really do a good job managing them. I missed 1 wushu training and 1 rugby training every week this year and I stretched my body to its max through several double/triple trainings per day. It may sound zai or even cool but it did no good to my body. As the chinese saying goes: 休息是为了走更长远的路 I totally burned myself out every week this year and in the process I wasted part of my studies. My dad was right, at the end of the day what matters is the number of As you get because you can't feed on your medals and trophies. It sounds materialistic yet so true.

I must say that both CCAs have crafted me into a very different person since sec school. I became much fitter after joining wushu; it implanted the fighting spirit in me and it also taught me that I had to strive for the things I wanted. "Special thanks to Li Jiao Lian who gave me a chance to compete in nationals despite niaoing me non-stop for ponning training" Well on the other hand, rugby was something that exposed me to different people and I learnt how to work together with them. It was also a cca that made me gain 10kg of mass and forced me to be aggressive. Although most people who take up 2 ccas will choose 1 sport and 1 recreational based but there is bound to be something to be learnt from all CCAs and I won't ever regret taking up two sports ccas.

I felt rather week when I ran to KAP and back today, don't know whether its the flu that killed my stamina or what but the point is everyone please take care.. getting (swine o.o) flu is not a joking matter! I feel damn stressed when I look at my calender for May, its packed with tests and stuff so I guess I'll dao my birthday. Talking about birthdays, I still owe a friend his present.. haiz I'll try to pass it to him next week I promise haha.

Interestingly, I ended off with a happy tone.. "wonders why"

A sorrow no one can understand nor share..

It feels like I just failed A lvls

I feel like sh*t now.. I think its totally my fault for our defeat today. I swear all would have been fine if I didn't miss that tackle :( All of a sudden my world just collapsed...

A sorrow no one can understand nor share..

How true..

May

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children.Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

A sorrow no one can understand nor share..

HC vs SA

Yesterday was the match against SA.. QUITE okay I guess. I got to know I had to play in the morning (like err 4 hours before I stepped on the field) so I had to adjust my mood but I think I failed :S

I further injured my stupid left thigh during warm up by tackling yier >.< then the first half was totally sucky for me.. I missed all the tackles on left side cause I didn't want to fall and end up MIA for CJ match. I think I kicked someone in his stomach cause he dived at my feet: serves him right :P Managed to kick a grubble that got us a line-out near their try.. and I think that was all I did X.X pathetic!!! Totally no mood that day + felt like puking cause of the mouth guard. Good thing is that our team defence got quite zai with 10 plus min left of the first half. We held them for that entire time I suppose.. cheetuan say that was the longest he has ever seen :)

They freaking started to kick during second half.. den wing drop ball like *** so our defence became quite screwed.. alas I thought of letting the wingers have a chance to catch so I supported but I ended up playing "soccer" with a few SA wingers. @#$ How dare they try to grubble past me, wts.. den I blocked it and high tackled that retard (I make the idea of high tackling sound totally legal =.=) They gave up kicking towards the wings after zhaoxuen switched to winger and I became their next target cause they thought I couldn't catch too. I missed my first catch but I still kicked the ball out for line out and someone tackled me in solar pexis! Chao ji pain.. hanged on to that bastard's hand and I was just about to drag him to the ground to rob him of fathers day and send him to hell.. I remembered someone say "yuyu don't get so agitated" o.O so I turned away from the spectators and ren3 tong4 (if not chao malu). I bet its their coach instructed them to remove me.. likely cause of my "warcry" earlier on. After that shengkun dio dead leg then we no kicker -_________- and guess what zx, yuteng and I had to kick off respectively!! I only managed one okok dropkick.. the rest was either curl ball or some grubble >.< F* they spamm kicking after that.. managed to catch some then I zam 2 imba spirals which got us a line out and some cheering from the crowd (esp terrence <3 u muacks) haha, chao shuang the feeling! XD The second kick I forgot to chase then my whole team offside -.-''' stunned by my kick.. BLEH!!! Anw I think its just tyco lar =X but at least I managed it when all SA kicks sucked like bao! :D

Throughout the match we kept attempting to hospitalise their players cause the refree is some kay_ (fill in the blank.. don't use A though) then cheetuan told us he wants to see someone die lol?! Yier keep stepping on people during rucks then he got one SA f*tard stretchered out (quite funny =P). Forwards all "contributed" during rucks. Caishuai super shuai la.. just sub in then kneed three guys and squeezed their *****.. totally O.O!!! SA actually quite hum.. some of them dio owned then don't dare to run at us already. Whats more, I pull the forwards out of rucks then slap them on the floor but non uttered a shi*. Their f*ing prop crash at wing then everyone pile ontop (it evolved into some American football game). I saw this jian4 SA guy trying to restrain our players (they play dirty) so I flew and elbowed two of them from behind (not like we play any cleaner).. point is, I managed to get away ^.^ but their prop cheat and got a try by rolling the ball forward although the refree (I feel like I just insulted all refs by calling him one) asked him not to move the F*ing ball.

The game was plagued bias and cheating throughout (although they would have won without having to do so) cause the ref keep giving them penalties whenever possible and changing the rules to give SA an upper hand.. to think that the team that was ranked second in season last year had to rely on a ref to help them better their scoreline.. totally pathetic!! I think their coach seriously needs to reflect man.. why did they only score 70+ against us despite having all odds against us. Caishuai came up with something like this: why do they have such a noob scoreline.. cause they miss conversions and why so.. cause they attack by wing.. why.. cause they are scared of our backline. Its so true man.. I bet thats why the spectators cheered for us towards the end =]

I sound like we damn zai although we lost but I'm quite sure the team all expected something more from SA (SA leh.. not sai or wadever) and it was totally missing compared to the AC match. My respect goes out to the guy who hands offed me in my face and their full back although I hate you both..

Time to reflect on my bad first half performance and prepare myself for the CJC match! Gotta recover my badly damaged thigh which got worse from the match.

Special thanks to benja for being a "zhaoxuen" and yier for nearly killing (it was a good attempt) the SA guy who should consider himself lucky cause eechu went MIA.

A sorrow no one can understand nor share..

Go rugby

ROAR!!! (can't find any other way to start)

Okay I'm confirm not gonna play against SA this week.. super worried for the team cause obviously some of us don't know how its like to be humiliated. Even if we are bound to lose in terms of scoring we should at least minimise the score line or win in other areas (like maybe go sin bin for being "too dangerous" or hospitalising a few). Really hope more and more of us get serious by the time we go against CJ and MI..

Haiz I'm quite scared of injury on my left butt... i tried to do some side stepping and sprints throughout the jog just now but I just can't hit top speed without utilising that swollen piece of butt muscle. True that I endured the pain during wushu but now I find myself of no worth to the team already.. I can't run fast anymore! T.T Maybe.. maybe I can at least motivate the team to train?? Jiayou =]

I'll "kill" some people next week.. haha even if I can't run properly I'll attempt a full psycho mode and break a few bones before I go sinbin :X Super violent thoughts running through my mind now.. blehh

A sorrow no one can understand nor share..

WUSHU!!! first wish granted :)))

me :) collecting my medal from the principal!

Wahaha so happy I won an individual medal at last.. but super saded cause the judges super duper biased >:( The first guy is from national team but not zai AT ALL so why does he deserve 8.95! Hmphh, so unfair lar!! He should have gotten something like 8.67.. den I own him by 0.01 Muahahahaha then the gold is mine ^^

Okay stop dreaming xyy, you need to rest or else your upcoming matches GG!

A sorrow no one can understand nor share..